Srbija za neupućene

To: u*****.s*******@******.uzh.ch

Dear Mr  S*******,

 I got your email address last year after inquiring about PTSD treatment.

 I am citizen of Serbia, 38, female. Have been physically, mentally and sexually abused since childhood. Countless times seeked help from local authorities. When I was a minor they used to respond with promises ("We talked to them and they said they wouldn't do that again...").  Later on, for deeds such as punching me, strangling me, beating my head against wall, kicking me in the stomach... doers were repeatedly charged with misdemeanor ("disturbance of public peace and order") and sentenced to pay money to the state.

 Each time I got beaten it financially contributed to the salaries of the ones I asked protection from - police, social workers, public prosecutors, judges, ombudsman... Gradually, I realized that abusers were not the only ones responsible. In 2010 I started collecting documentation for the the lawsuite against Serbia at The European Court of Human Rights. I demanded copies of police reports from 2001 on, transcripts of the phone calls to ambulance, appealed after not getting them...

 The lawsuite never took place though. In November 2011, the police arrived to where I lived and transported me to Special psyciatric hospital (official name) where I was forced to declare myself a mentally ill person, in a written statement. Consequentlly, my testimony of domestic violence became nothing but a product of sick mind. As for physical injuries documented over the period of ten years (contusio capitis reg. occipitalis, contusio capitis et faciei, contusio corporis, distensio paravertebralis reg cervicalis, facial hematoma, eye hematoma...) they were ommited from the Special hospital's psychiatric report, but one state official made sure I understand that self-injuries were not uncommon among mentally ill people.

 Needless to say, I also understood that any further insistance on obtaining documentation for the lawsuit would mean that my mental ilness re-appeared which would require yet another forced admission to Special hospital.

 I have not yet been able to talk about the torture I was subjected to during month-long confinment in that place, nor about the circumstances under which I signed the statement declaring myself mentally ill. I have made several attempts to reminiscence that time in written, but each time ended up in agony, collapsing to the floor, pressing hand over mouth (so that the neighbours doesn't hear the scream), weeping, shivering and experiencing nearly physical pain.

 I seeked treatment with three renowned local psychiatrists, respectively. They were quite animated (asking questions, uttering comments) when I talked about home abuse, relationships or things in general. But they get noticeably numb and responseless each time I slide into issues that involve state and state officials. All of them diagnosed me with PTSD. None prescribed medication.

 My physical health is severely affected. The BMI has dropped to life thretening level (167 cm/40 kg), joined by excessive overal muscular atrophy and hypotonia, cardiac dysrhythmia, dyspnoea and chronic fatigue. General practicioner and rehabilitation physicians say: "We cannot start any therapy until we know the cause (of physical deterioration)." So far I've found it easier to lie to them that I don't know either.

H***** K*********

 To: u*****.s*******@******.uzh.ch

Dear Mr  S*******,

thank you for your reply. After describing my situation in my initial message these are the questions:

 - do you think that I should undergo a psychiatric treatment

- does your hospital offers such treatment and on what conditions (costs and duration of the treatment, if they can be estimated)

- in your opinion, would the threatment at your hospital be different then the one I can have in my country of residence, taking into consideration the origin of the major trauma

Regards.

H*****

 To: u*****.s*******@******.uzh.ch

Dear Dr S*******,

 thank you for this information.

 My traumatic experience consists of two parts. First is so called domestic abuse. Second, which I call major one, is everything I went through after attempting to get police, court and medical archives opened in order to collect data for the lawsuit at the European Court for Human Rights.

 There are good therapists in Serbia, where I live, and they were quite helpful in everything but the major trauma.

 However, after not being used for many years my German is no longer fluent and the treatment lasts much longer than I expected.

 It leaves me no other option but to thank you once again for taking the time to respond to my inquiry.

Best regards,

H***** K*********